People who ride their bikes to work often feel like they are in the minority because, well, they are. The percentages for bike commuting in Washington-area jurisdictions range from 4% (DC) down to 0.1% (Prince Georges). So at least 96% of commuters get to work some other way, and as a result, sometimes talk about bike commuters like exotic animals or eccentric distant relatives. Tim Kelley, BikeArlington’s Operations Manager of the past 8 years, likes to turn the tables on this conversation style, and presented this ironic blog post on his final week at work.

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Did you know that there are people who drive their cars to work?  That’s incredible. I mean, I own a car and I like to drive it on the weekends for fun with friends, but I could never drive it to work.  Don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are car drivers and I even had a cousin who married one.  I guess I’m more of what you’d call a “recreational motorist.”

Besides, have you seen what traffic is like out there? All those Dale Earnhardt Jr wannabes racing around on the Beltway.  And it seems like every single motorist I see breaks the law.  Not stopping at stop signs, speeding, texting or talking on the phone, not looking where they are going.  It’s ridiculous!

And do you want to know the craziest part?  They don’t even wear helmets when they drive at 80 miles per hour on the highway. At that speed they must have some sort of death wish! They seem fine on their own, but you get a pack of them together and they just take over the road.   Always in the way.  It’s like all those drivers think that they own the road.

And with traffic the way it is, it would take me like 2 hours to get to my job, and I’d be so frazzled and stressed out from everybody honking at me, and I bet I couldn’t even find a parking spot once I got there.

Yeah, I could definitely never drive to work…

To consider:

• Remember the time that you left the lights on your bike turned on and the battery went dead and you were stranded in that parking lot?  Yeah, me neither.
• Remember the time that your bike broke down and the surprise repair bill was thousands of dollars?  Yeah, me neither.
• Remember that time that your neighbor’s bike alarm kept going off in the middle of the night for no reason?  Yeah, me neither.
• Remember the time that two bike riders got into a very minor fender bender and had to stand by the side of the road exchanging insurance info as everyone slowed down to rubberneck as they rode past? Yeah, me neither.